Have you ever truly evaluated your life? I’m not talking about casual contemplation, but a deep, introspective assessment where you write down your goals and measure your progress. During a course I attended last month, I was challenged to reverse engineer my life, starting from the end and working my way back. I was tasked with writing my own eulogy, and it proved to be a profound and transformative experience. I want to share my insights with you.
Not surprisingly, my eulogy didn’t mention material possessions, educational achievements, or social status. It revolved around how I lived my life and the impact I had on the people in it. As I wrote out my aspirations for the person I would become, tears streamed down my face. I cried for the parts of my life that filled my soul and for the areas where I fell short of my potential. I saw that this vision of a purposeful, fulfilling, and complete life was within my reach, and it shook me.
In writing my eulogy, I imagined my son reading it. The pride he would feel for the person I had become and the ways I had inspired him was overwhelming, but so was the profound sense of loss he would feel when I’m gone. This realization made me acutely aware of the significance of showing up for the people we love, but also for ourselves, of being fully present and holding a sacred space.
During my struggles with alcohol, my presence was diminished. Even though I might have physically been there, my essence was elsewhere, clouded by worries and regrets. When I wasn’t drinking the thoughts of the next drink, the quantity I needed to buy, and the obsession with wine consumed my mind. I was unable to fully enjoy the moments with my son, constantly distracted by self-imposed limitations.
The pursuit of wine had taken over my life. It prevented me from showing up for my people and holding sacred space for those who needed it most. I recall missed opportunities to support my friends during pivotal moments because I was too lost in my own struggles. Today, as I navigate life without alcohol, I’ve learned to prioritize my own well-being to improve the quality of my interactions.
I invite you to embark on a similar journey of self-discovery. Take the time to write your own eulogy, guided by your personal values and what truly matters to you. Evaluate if your actions align with those values and if you are pursuing what is important to you rather than succumbing to societal expectations. Celebrate the areas of your life that are flourishing and confront the aspects where improvement is necessary. Seek out new strategies and approaches that will allow you to live a life that resonates with your values and honors the sacred.
I’ll leave you a quote that sums up our journey toward self-realization and personal growth:
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
Remember, your life is yours to shape, to mold, and to create. Embrace it!